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Keirsten Lenae [userpic]

(no subject)

January 15th, 2007 (04:04 pm)
confused

Feeling: confused
Hearing: mikes guitar

RIP Ed. You were a great friend and person, and we will miss you.


I got in a car crash. I totaled mikes truck, thank god i was wearing my seat belt. Everything's going to shit. We're car-less, good freinds are dying, good friends are slowly knowingly killing themselves. Theivery, relapses, deaths, and car crashes. I want nothing to do with this past weekend. and fuck heroin. fuck it fuck it.. How can you sit and realise and how terrible and fucked up something is, and still want it? "it's the devil, it's killing everyone I love. When can i get more?"

things are fucked. and fuck getting accusations from a person you used to love, accusations that are fucked. fuck everything.

Keirsten Lenae [userpic]

a story through briht eye, evan greer, and thrice

January 8th, 2007 (04:28 pm)
cold

Feeling: cold
Hearing: green day

"I've got a flask inside my pocket
We can share it on the train
And if you promise to stay conscious
I will try and do the same
Yeah, we might die from medication
But we sure killed all the pain
But what was normal in the evening
By the morning seems insane

And I'm not sure what the trouble was
That started all of this
The reasons all have run away
But the feeling never did
It's not something I would recommend
But it is one way to live
Because what is simple in the moonlight
By the morning never is"


"And 500 miles away, down I-70
there's a boy sitting in a room
full of patches and PCP
and the kids all drink the same beer
and they talk about anarchy
and he wonders if he's the only one there
who remembers what that used to mean
and the punk-rock band plays on
long into the night
these days the girls with empty eyes
hardly ever put up a fight
and he watches as his friends give up
and slowly start to die
sticking needles in their arms
because punk-rock boys never cry"


"i know that there's
a difference between sleight of hand, and giving everything you have
there's a line drawn in the sand, i'm working up the will to cross it
rhetoric can't raise the dead
i'm sick of always talking when there's no change
i'm sick of empty words, let's lead and not follow
late night, brakes lock, hear the tires squeal
red light, can't stop so i spin the wheel
my world goes black before i feel an angel steal me from the
greedy jaws of death and chance, and pull me in with steady hands
they've given me a second chance, the artist in the ambulance
can we pick you off the ground, more than flashing lights and sound"

Keirsten Lenae [userpic]

(no subject)

December 30th, 2006 (03:44 pm)

one day and eight hours left until mike comes home!!! i bought a full sized mattress today, it'll arive on the 9th. and i bought a new comforter set to go on it. God i'm excited. sleeping has been the hardest thing to do, knowing there's only hours unti mike comes home. And now, as soon as he gets home, we'll start getting our bedroom together. Won't he be excited to know he gets to paint our room his first weekend home from jail. haha. man, i want him home bad.

Keirsten Lenae [userpic]

(no subject)

December 28th, 2006 (12:35 am)

also, i'm getting this  carmen electra poster in the mail soon, I've wanted it for well over a year but it's been sold out at every store. So pumped for it to come, along with a sweet jenna jameson one too!!

Keirsten Lenae [userpic]

(no subject)

December 28th, 2006 (12:31 am)

so, in exactly 3 days mike will be home. And I can't even try to express in words how excited I am. To have him here to hold me as we fall asleep, to wake up next to his "i love you"'s in the morning, to watch tv as we pass the time together, to kiss, to play fight with, to hug, to touch, to just sit and look at.. I miss him an awfull lot. Today's our 5 month anniversary. This week feels like it couldn't possibly go by any slower.

Christmas. Mike's mom surprised me with a carton of newports in my stocking, a cute shirt from pac sun, and a cell phone!! It's a razor, with cingular phone plan. It's so fucking sweet I was so shocked to open that up. She easily spent over a $100, that's crazy. I wasn't even expecting her to get me anything at all. And my momma bought me a real expensive salon shampoo, conditioner, deep conditioner, spray shine se. It smells soooo good. And I used it this morning and it works really good. Might go buy a car tomorrow, fingers crossed.

new years day, please come faster!!

Keirsten Lenae [userpic]

(no subject)

December 21st, 2006 (06:31 pm)
hopeful

Feeling: hopeful
Hearing: none

My lover will be home within two weeks!!!!! so excited.

meanwhile, i've been hanging out and partying lots with josh. it's been as good as it could be. I can't wait to have mike home, but i'm glad i found some friends to make the time go by faster. Josh and Dave are coming over saturday night to roll and then sunday night I'm going to a x-mas eve party with josh to get trashed, and then new years eve I'm going to a new years eve party with josh and dave that dave will be DJ'ing. haha i told josh all he would have to worry about when it came to drinking with me was that he just might have to carry me out the door by the end of the night.

it should be fun. i hope.

Keirsten Lenae [userpic]

(no subject)

December 12th, 2006 (11:52 pm)
lonely

Feeling: lonely
Hearing: Matt Costa - 'Cold December'

I want my boyfriend back oh so terribly badly. I can't sleep right in my empty bed, I cant eat right while I'm only forcing a couple stray bites of food in my mouth for the sake of knowing that I HAVE to eat something, I can't even listen to music right anymore. I can't.. *live* right. It's fucked up, but it' true. I love him. I can't think of a thing I wouldn't do for him. And I postively cant stand being without him. I need my baby to come home. I need his kisses, his arms around me, his outrageously random comments, even his dumb stubborness. But most of all, as cheesy as it is, i need his love. He makes me so happy.

i just. i want him back. thats all there is to it.

i love him.

Keirsten Lenae [userpic]

I'll be a living dead girl... for 30 days

December 8th, 2006 (09:17 pm)
crushed

Feeling: crushed

mike's in jail for 30 days. Not only will I be spending my first christmas without my family this year, I'll be spending it without the love of my life too. No New years kisses. No kisses at all. Just a bed that barely fit the two of us as it was that will now feel bigger than ever. All I do is keep glancing at the clock, waiting for him to come home like this is all some dumb joke. I'm dying my hair, and making these plans in my head to go get facials ad my nails done like I've been planning to do once I got my first check which I'll get this thursday.. but i dont see why. He's the only reason I ever get prettied up, he won't see any of it while he's in jail. It's ironic though, he's worried Ill leave him while he's in jail but all i can do is sit and cry over not being able to be with him.

I love him more than anything. I just wish things weren't so complicated.

Keirsten Lenae [userpic]

(no subject)

December 5th, 2006 (02:38 pm)

would it be that bad if i snapped and slit her throat? she's an annoying ugly bitch, no one would miss her. she can't even give out free weed any more. She's a waste of space.



i start my job today at 59-west. and i figured out my senior quote. "And in that moment, I swear we were infinite." -Charlie. good?

Keirsten Lenae [userpic]

what should my senior qoute be?

November 28th, 2006 (05:54 pm)
Hearing: Slipknot

I want:

My tongue peirced
A job
A Curious George
A penguin
A licence to kill
A never ending ciggarette
A good mixed drink
My own secret place
A new pair of boots
A new dress
A car
A good talk with many a missed friend
A good hit of something secret
A shampoo that will make my hair grow back faster
My hood peirced
A new wardrobe, save for a few things
A new pair of chucks
A leather jacket
My own jean jacket so I can have skulls and things painted on it
A cell phone
A highschool diploma
A pair or two of new earrings
A pretty lingerie set
A cure for the Sara virus

A new life?

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